Experiential Avoidance

Assalamualaikum.

I just wanted to share something for my future reference.
So, basically this post is for the current me and future me.

Everyone has fear.
Fear of taking risks.
Fear of making decisions.
Fear of responsibilities.
Fear of trying something new.
Fear of many things.

There are lot of things we are afraid of.
Therefore, to not experiencing the fear, we always avoid doing things that we are afraid of.

We avoid taking risks
We avoid making decisions
We avoid responsibilities
We avoid trying something we never did before
We avoid many things

We avoid just because we don't want to experience fear.

Unfortunately, life does not work that way.
We cannot achieve success without having fear to start the first step.
We cannot get things done by avoiding doing things.
We can never know our potentials if we don't try.
Have you ever heard a song sang by Shakira, "Try Everything"?
Here I share the lyrics:
I messed up tonight
I lost another fight
I still mess up but I'll just start again
I keep falling down
I keep on hitting the ground
I always get up now to see what's next
Birds don't just fly
They fall down and get up
Nobody learns without getting it won
I won’t give up, no I won’t give in
Till I reach the end
And then I’ll start again
Though I’m on the lead
I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
I won’t give up, no I won’t give in
Till I reach the end
And then I’ll start again
No I won't leave
I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
Oh oh try everything
Look how far you've come
You filled your heart with love
Baby you've done enough that cut your breath
Don't beat yourself up
Don't need to run so fast
Sometimes we come last but we did our best 

I won’t give up, no I won’t give in
Till I reach the end
And then I’ll start again
Though I’m on the lead
I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
I won’t give up, no I won’t give in
Till I reach the end
And then I’ll start again
No I won't leave
I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
I'll keep on making those new mistakes
I'll keep on making them every day
Those new mistakes
Oh oh, try everything

Yusra and Hana Humaira' :D
(remember when we were a cute little kid? We try to walk and fall but 
WE KEEP TRYING)


I know, this is the hardest things to do
Because we always have all the maladaptive thoughts.
"What IF I fail?"
"What IF people don't like me?"
"What IF I make silly mistakes?"
"What IF people judge me?"
"What IF..."
"What IF..."
"What IF..."
till the end of the world, we can never get an answer for this "What IF question"
(p/s: try everything that is permissible only okay ^_^)

How funny we are,
we always imagine bad things that have not yet happened
Until we forget to embrace present moment
We are too caught of with our thoughts that most of the time are not true.
How can we know if we never try, right?

Maybe, what we should say to ourselves is "What IF I give it a try and see how it goes..."
Yes, we might fail but we know we have tried.
Yes, we might fail but we learnt from the experience.
Yes, we might fail but we have succeed by starting the first step.


 I end this post with this video:


The point is: "We can't change our lives for the better without worrying that we will change for the worse. There is no way around this. It is the human condition. BUT we can cultivate the ability to experience difficult thoughts and emotions in the service of what matters most to us. This is called PSYCHOLOGICAL FLEXIBILITY"

Till then,
Hope this might be beneficial to us all. 
I write this just to remind myself in the future.
:)