Movie Lessons: A monster Calls

Assalamualaikum.

Before I start, I would like to thank to Mimi Farah Mohamad Jazman and Faten Nadhirah Muhammad Fauzi for recommending this movie.

I just want to share the lessons I learnt from a movie I watched last night: A Monster Calls.
The movie is highly recommended. You will find that the movie will teach you life lessons. It has taught me about family relationships, love and marriage, how to face struggles in life, etc.

credit: google

What is the story about?
It's a story about a boy. Too old to be a kid, Too young to be a man.
A boy whose heart has been broken to see his single mother fighting with cancer.
A boy who always have questions about things happening in his life.
Why do his parents divorce? Why do his mother needs to struggle with cancer? Why do he has to be bullied at school?

He is yearning for an answer and get the answer through tales, told by a tree monster in his dreams.
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Lesson I learnt.

1. Family Relationship
Our family members are the closest to our heart. They are the one who we will first ask for help. They are the one who we will first ask for comfort.
But, our family members are not perfect. And often time, we misunderstand their actions. Because, we don't bother to ask. Rather, we assume.
Therefore, let us all try to be honest with our family members.

“And if one day,' mom said, really crying now, 'you look back and you feel bad for being so angry, if you feel bad for being so angry at me that you couldn't even speak to me, then you have to know, Conor, you have to that is was okay. It was okay. That I knew. I know, okay? I know everything you need to tell me without you having to say it out loud.”  
“You be as angry as you need to be,” mom said. “Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Not your grandma, not your dad, no one. And if you need to break things, then by God, you break them good and hard.”

Things that have been a burden in your heart need to be spoken.
Because, sabr (patience) is to talk about what's bothering you, without losing control of your emotions.

credit: google

2. Love and Marriage

In one scene, the boy is talking to his dad (who has been divorced with mom). After years not seeing each other because his dad remarried to a new wife, they got a heart-to-heart conversation.

"Why did you move away?" said the boy

"We were young, too young. You know big dreams."

"What kind of dreams?"

"Your mom wanted to go to a hot college"

"Really?"

"Yeah. She didn't go but she wanted it to"

"What happened? Because mom got pregnant and it was me?"

"hey, she never regret having you. You are only a good news. I know that for a fact 'cause one thing she regrets was marrying me."

"Why did she marrying you then?"

"Because I'm handsome" both giggled. and dad continues, "Your mom was amazing and she still is. We were in love. I mean, I still love her. But, you see, love isn't enough. It doesn't carry you through."

"So you didn't get happily ever after?"
"No, but that's life. You know, most of us get mess ever after. That's alright."

And, this is the truth. Love isn't enough. Physical appearance doesn't make a marriage stays. Marriage requires both love and mercy. 

credit: twitter

3. How We Face Struggles in Life

In one scene, the boy dreams of her mom dies, falling down from a cliff. And it is he, who let her mom dies because he could not bear the pain of seeing his mom struggling with cancer. But, he also actually wanted her mom to be cured. It's actually an internal conflict.

“If you speak the truth," the monster whispered in his ear, "you will be able to face whatever comes.You must speak the truth and you must speak it now, Conor O'Malley. Say it. You must."
Conor shook his head again, his mouth clamped shut tight, but he could feel a burning in his chest, like a fire someone had lit there, a miniature sun, blazing away and burning him from the inside.
“It'll kill me if I do,” he gasped.
"It will kill you if you do not, the monster said. You must say it.” 
Connor: I let her go. I could have held on but I let her go.
The Monster: And that is the truth.
Connor:I didn't mean it, though! I didn't mean to let her go! And now it's for real! Now she's going to die and it's my fault!
The Monster: And that is not the truth at all. 
“You know that your truth, the one that you hide… is the thing you are most afraid of. It does not matter what you think, the monster said, because your mind will contradict itself a hundred times each day. You wanted her to go at the same time you were desperate for me to save her. Your mind will believe comforting lies while also knowing the painful truths that make those lies necessary. And your mind will punish you for believing both.”
“You do not write your life with words, the monster said. You write it with actions. What you think is not important. It is only important what you do.” 

In the end, his mom finally dies and he cried his heart out. But, he manage to let go. 

credit: google

This is so true. Often times, we feel by hiding our honest feelings, it would make things better. Because we are afraid to know the outcomes. But, most of the times, even if the outcome doesn't turn out the way we wanted it to, it is actually turn out the way we need it to. 

Be honest. Speak the truth. It takes courage to speak the truth, I swear. It was hard. It's never easy. But it worth it. It worth to speak the truth as it can lift the burden in our heart. Trust me. 

This movie is really inspiring and I would highly recommend this movie to you guys.

It will make most of us contemplating on what have we done, what are we going to do, what decision are we going to take, what's running in our thoughts, what actions are we going to take.

 It worth watching it.

Plus, this movie doesn't have any obscene scene. It's an innocent movie with valuable life lessons in it. 

Appreciation post for Ayah and Ibu

 Assalamualaikum,

Saya jarang tulis tentang ibu dan ayah saya. Tapi, sejak ambil course PSYC3312 (Parenting and Family Psychology), saya reflek banyak perkara.

Ternyata, subjek ini banyak membuka mata saya betapa mencabarnya menjadi seorang ibu dan ayah. Dengan pelbagai ragam anak yang perlu dilayan. Dengan macam-macam demand yang anak mahukan. Dengan bermacam hal yang perlu dikorbankan.

Bila terkenang balik, zaman masa demand lebih-lebih pada ibu dan ayah, rasa macam, “haihh, kenapalah aku buat macamtu”. But things have been done, we cannot fix what has been passed but we can definitely try to improve starting from now.

Syurga yang Selalu Dirindukan J

Cerita yang saya nak cerita mungkin cliché, tapi mungkin ia bermanfaat untuk dikongsikan.

Pengorbanan ibu dan ayah sebenarnya sejak awal lagi, sejak kita masih dalam kandungan ibu dan ayah. 

Saya pernah tanya ibu, apa ibu rasa masa mengandung. Ibu kata sakit sebab ibu ada gastrik. Jadi bila mengandung tu, memang 9 bulan menahan sakit T_T. 

Saya tanya lagi, macamana sakitnya melahirkan, ibu cuma jawab “ibu tak boleh nak describe, cuma orang yang pernah rasa, tahu macamana rasanya.” 

Kemudian, ibu tunjuk lehernya yang terkesan kerana meneran. Ibu kata dia tak reti practice breathing masa bersalin. Yang dia fikir cuma nak anak selamat je. Besarnya pengorbanan ibu..

Lepastu bila dah besar sikit, umur 3 tahun, ibu ayah pernah risau sebab saya hilang (nakal boleh tahan jugak saya ni). Mujur waktu tu ada orang baik hati yang telefon polis sebab jumpa saya. Dan waktu ibu telefon polis, polis kata ada yang kata terjumpa budak hilang. Dan Alhamdulillah, saya dijumpai dan masih ada sampai sekarang. HAHA.

Masa kanak-kanak, ibu layan je saya yang agak demanding. Kalau nak pergi sekolah tadika, tudung tu kalau boleh nak lipat elok-elok. Kalau tak elok, ibu kena pakaikan balik semula. -_-

Bila dah besar sikit, nak beli barang kena mahal. Tak boleh tengok adik-beradik lain beli, nak minta beli juga. Kadang-kadang tu ayah tak mampu pun nak belikan, tapi bila dah masam muka, ayah belikan juga. :(

Menyesal rasa bila ingat balik.

Bila dah remaja sikit, ada la berlaku salahfaham. Saya rasa ibu ayah tak faham saya. Rasa mereka tak sayang saya. Waktu itu jiwa remaja sangat memberontak (waktu ni la keluar usrah -_-). Lepastu, apa yang saya buat ialah duduk nangis dalam bilik. Tak keluar makan, tak sembang. Hmm. Dahsyat jugak la waktu tu. Sampai ibu ayah terasa.

Mana ibu ayah tak terasa, anak buat perangai macamtu kan..

Ayah nak pujuk, ayah belikan A.B.C. lepastu bawa saya ke klinik, risau tengok nangis lama-lama. Takut demam. Tapi, tu masalah yang cari sendiri.

Then, sampai satu hari ni, ayah cakap one-to-one dengan saya. Jarang cakap dengan ayah, tapi waktu tu saya dengar je apa ayah cakap. Ayah kata, “mana ada ibu ayah yang tak sayang anak. Bagi ayah, anak-anak ayah ni nyawa tau.” Dan waktu tu saya dapat lihat ayah hampir menangis. (Oh God, I cannot continue writing T_T).

Ayah jarang sangat terlihat sedih depan anak-anak. Kalau dia tertekan, kesempitan wang ke, ayah cuma akan luahkan pada ibu. Pernah satu hari saya terbaca mesej ayah dengan kawan dia. Ayah tengah sesak wang waktu tu, dan minta tolong kawan ayah. Waktu baca tu, saya cuma diam.

Ayah, takpernah nak khabarkan jerih perih yang dia rasa pada anak-anak.

Ibu pula, sejak anak-anak semakin membesar, selalu ibu rasa sunyi. Saya pernah terjumpa diari yang ibu tulis. Dalam diari tersebut, ibu banyak tulis tentang anak-anak dia. Bagaimana gembira ibu bila anak-anak balik rumah, bagaimana sedih ibu bila anak-anak semua kembali bekerja dan belajar. Dalam diari tersebut, banyak ibu doa untuk setiap satu anak dia.

Ada part di mana ibu tulis di diarinya tentang saya. Ibu sungguh-sungguh doa supaya saya dapat straight A’s dan gapai cita-cita saya untuk belajar ke luar negara. Masa baca tu, rasa ya Allah, betapa sebenarnya mungkin usaha saya tak seberapa tapi berkat doa ibu yang membolehkan saya berada di sini, melanjutkan pelajaran dalam bidang yang diminati. Terima kasih ibu :’)

 Jika mahu ditulis lagi, takkan mampu ada perkataan yang dapat saya ungkapkan betapa pemurahnya Tuhan mengurniakan ibu dan ayah yang sebenarnya cukup sempurna buat saya. Takkan ada perkataan terima kasih yang mampu membalas jasa mereka selama mana saya bernafas.

Semoga dengan kefahaman ini, Allah jadikan saya anak yang soleh buat ibu dan ayah. Anak yang sentiasa mendoakan, anak yang sentiasa akan juga selalu contact ibu ayah walau bagaimana sibuk, anak yang sentiasa bersyukur, anak yang akan menjadi asset bagi mereka ke syurga.

Moga jika adanya manfaat tulisan ini yang membuatkan orang lain lebih menghargai ibu bapa dan reflek kembali pengorbanan mereka, semua aliran-aliran amal ini Tuhan alirkan juga buat ibu bapa saya yang saya takkan mampu balas dengan segala harta di dunia.

Sebagai penutup, saya mengajak semua orang yang membaca, ayuhlah sama-sama kita ungkapkan lafaz sayang dan kasih kita pada ibu bapa kita. Ayuhlah kita ungkapkan betapa besar kesyukuran kita memiliki mereka di dunia. Ayuhlah kita sama-sama berusaha menyantuni kedua ibu bapa kita dengan segenap rasa sayang.

Dan ayuhlah, kita sama-sama menghayati doa dalam Surah Al-Ahqaf ayat 15 dan sama-sama mengamalkannya. Mungkin ini boleh jadi hadiah buat mereka.

“Dan Kami perintahkan kepada manusia agar berbuat baik kepada kedua orang tuanya, ibunya mengandungnya dengan susah payah, dan melahirkannya dengan susah payah (pula). Masa mengandung sampai menyapihnya selama tiga puluh bulan, sehingga apabila dia (anak itu) telah dewasa dan umurnya mencapai empat puluh tahun, ia berdoa, "Ya Tuhanku, berilah aku petunjuk agar aku dapat mensyukuri nikmat-Mu yang telah Engkau limpahkan kepadaku dan kepada kedua orang tuaku dan agar aku dapat berbuat kebajikan yang Engkau ridhai; dan berilah aku kebaikan yang akan mengalir sampai kepada anak cucuku. Sungguh, aku bertobat kepada Engkau, dan sungguh, aku termasuk orang muslim.”