Story #4: Babysit

Jadi minggu lepas, kali ke-empat jaga anak orang (babysit)

Pertama kali, sesat nak ke rumah orang tersebut.

Kali kedua, anak tersebut menangis bagai didera bila nak mandikan. Masa ini, cuak dia tak payah cerita. Memang cuak teramat. Sampai rasa takut nak mandikan lagi.

Kali ketiga, still no fun with the kids. Waktu ini mungkin terganggu dengan masalah diri sendiri. Tapi memang really feel bad sebab tak mampu nak create the bond with the kids.

Antara masalah yang dikenal pasti:

1. Belum biasa sangat jaga budak.

2. Anak perempuan tersebut berbahasa Arab dan disebabkan dia masih lagi 2 tahun, butir percakapannya kurang jelas. Memang struggle nak faham apa dia nak sebenarnya.

3. Abangnya super protective. Memang tak bagi langsung adik dia nangis. Bagus abang dia tapi memang adik dia akan nangis bila mama dia pergi universiti. Jadi bagaimana?

Disebabkan saya rasa saya perlu juga create the bond with the kids dan rasa perlu mencintai kerja saya, saya pun discuss dengan mama kepada anak-anak tersebut. Saya juga bertanya kepada babysitter lain yang lebih berpengalaman dan juga tanya kepada seorang senior yang mempunyai 3 orang anak.

Jadi, saya pun berazam nak buat lebih baik. Tak boleh nak learned helplessness. Everything needs to be improved. Sekali gagal, bukan bererti gagal selamanya.

Jadi, hari tersebut, saya bawa sebuah buku cerita, colours dan laptop. Kertas A4 saya minta mama mereka.

Okay, jadi sesampainya di rumah, anak 2 tahun tersebut menangis sebab mamanya sudah bersiap ke universiti. Saya biarkan dulu dia menangis. Reaksi normal kanak-kanak yang mempunyai "secure style attachment" dengan ibunya. Kemudian, dia pergi ke abangnya. Waktu ini, saya mula keluarkan colours dan kertas A4, dia mula tertarik dan berhenti menangis. Dia ambil colours tersebut dan conteng kertas A4 sambil senyum dan ketawa dengan imaginasinya. Mulutnya mengomel bercerita tentang sesuatu yang tak mampu saya faham. Tangannya menunjuk-nunjuk contengan yang dia buat. Bahagia. Abangnya turut serta melukis. Dan seperti biasa dia bercerita dan saya mendengar walaupun tak faham jalan cerita. (Abang dia sangat fasih berbahasa inggeris)

lukisan Juju(adik) yang berusia 2 tahun

Lukisan Mesho (abang) yang berusia 5 tahun 

Kemudian, saya buka laptop dan buka youtube lagu kanak-kanak "twinkle twinkle little star". Menyanyi dan menari bersama Juju.

Juju ralit dengan youtube

Abangnya seperti tak berminat. Abangnya sangat suka bermain dengan gadget. Saya pun cuba engage. Saya cakap-cakap dengan dia tentang permainan dia. Saya ajak main benda lain tapi dia kata dia busy. Ok takpe. Biar dia main game dulu. Saya melayan Juju dahulu.

Entah bagaimana tiba-tiba abangnya mengajak main hide and seek. Seronok juga main dengan budak-budak. Comel. Dan abang dia ajak main racing car juga. Raikanlah kecenderungan kanak-kanak lelaki. Seronok juga sebenarnya dapat main dengan mereka. Rasa bahagia dengan kerja.

Abang yang pemalu tapi banyak juga cakap. 

Kemudian, saya bacakan buku cerita pada adik dia. Tapi sekejap sahaja sebab dia tak berminat. Kami pun tonton televisyen sambil saya cuba buat interaction dengan mereka. Dan alhamdulillah, everything went well and better from the other weeks. Harap minggu-minggu mendatang, saya terus mampu engage dengan mereka dan anggap seperti keluarga sendiri.

Juju menonton televisyen

Apa yang saya belajar, kids treat us the way they are treated. Kids see and imitate what adults do.

We are the one who needs to create fun things to do with them. Thanks a lot to moms who share tips with me and also experienced babysitters.

p/s: I was thinking, kalau tak dapat kerja balik Malaysia nanti, nak jadi babysitter pun okay. Haha. 

Story #3: Overcome your Fear

Before you read, I need to clarify that "fear" in this post is not the fear of doing sins. Of course, we need to have fear of doing sins. We need to have that feeling. 

Fear in this post refers to fear of making mistakes that are not a sin. 

overcome your fear. you are not alone.

I called my friend who studies in US. As usual, we have a very long conversation. Talking to her can never be short because both of us love to share our stories.

So, there is a part of her story that is really inspiring.

"Adik, do you know that I'm too afraid of doing iceskating? For some people, it's just easy. But for me, it's just hard. I'm too scared. You know my condition right? Not as anyone else. I have some limitations"

*keep on listening*

"...you know I take a class for that. But as I said, I'm too scared. I can't do that for the first time. But you know what my teacher said? She stared deeply into my eyes and said, 'I can see your fear through your eyes. It's okay. Overcome your fear first, then come to the class'. And at that time, I cried. I cried. So I take some times and when I felt better, I went to the class again. And guess what? I can do it! Even though it's too slow. Like seriously, very slow. But the feeling was wonderful because at least I can start a move."

*smiling*

"Congratulations kaklong! You did it. You should cherish that."

"But not pro la adik."

"But at least, you try and you can start. That's great."

*I'm so happy for her*

"That is life adik. We have fear. But, if we don't overcome it, it'll haunt us. We can never take a step ahead if we don't want to start."

"But kaklong, still, we need time right? Overcoming fear is not as simple as saying move on, you can do it. Yes, we can do it but still it takes time. Really."

"Yup. You're right. We need time. I do take some times to start making a step ahead. It's okay. Take your time, but don't be too long."

*smile*

I remembered I was asking my lecturer about phobia. She gave an example of people who has a phobia of spider. I was thinking it wasn't that horrible because it's only an animal. But then, my lecturer said, "you never know how intense the phobia is. It could be horrible you know."

At that time, I realized that we can never judge other's struggle and yes phobia can be too intense.

Also, I remembered my conversation with my housemate who loves to observe rather than talk and she's taking psychology as well.

"Hmm, I want to ask you a question. Things that have been done, cannot be undone. What about things that we have learned? Can we unlearned?"

"Yes. You can repress the memory."

"Emm. Okay I know. It's like during SPM, we learned add math, physics and stuffs but now if someone asks about it, I can't remember. ...but, it's about things that don't relate to emotions. What about things that related to emotions? Because I once read a journal regarding this. An emotional memory has a higher tendency to be remembered than memory that is not related to emotion."

*silent*

"Things take time. Keep calm and give time to ourselves. With time, we grow and develop"

Time. Give yourself time.

Some people said, time heals. But, how long does it takes to heal is really depend on individuals. Some people just take a week or a month while others take years.

But at the first place, try.

Try to overcome the fear.