Reflection #3: Resilience

Yesterday, I got 3 tutorial classes (6 hours continuously) but I made it. Alhamdulillah. Hopefully, it would be great throughout this semester. Among all the 3 classes, I really love the discussion in PSYC2030 (Developmental Psychology) class.

In the class, we watched a video about resilience. There are actually many stories in one video but I remember this one story the most.

This is a true story.

There is a 5-year-old kid named Danielle. He lost his brother when he was 3 and it was hard for him to accept the reality. He's still with the imagination that his brother was still there playing with him. Day by day, he got better. He can accept the reality. A good news came. His mom was pregnant! It was a baby girl and he was really excited and eager to see his sister. But, he didn't know that his parents are getting a divorce. (okay, this part I was so emotional but still can control not to cry. But, I just couldn't control my voice saying "ALLAH". I noticed some of my classmates were staring at me.)

And yes, the parents divorced and he stayed with his mom. (I just couldn't accept the fact that the dad left the mom when she was still pregnant with a 5-year old kid. Doesn't he ever think of his children?) *angry*

Another reality hits. His mom was almost blind! (Ahhh, why this small 5-year-old kid needs to bear with harsh reality like this. Allah. So, which of your Lord's favor are you denying, Zura?)

But, Danielle grows up becoming so strong. He becomes so responsible and caring towards his mom.

Then, he was participating an experiment with several kids. The experiment aims to study on how children can control their emotion in a frustrating situation. The kids were given a box of toys and they need to choose the most favourite toy and the least favorite toy.

Next, they need to wait until they got the present. Inside the present, it was the least favorite toy that they have chosen before. Almost all the kids were so disappointed to get the least favorite toy except Danielle. He got the toy and he did not show any disappointment. He said, "oh that's okay. I'll play with this toy" and he played with it.

I was so amazed and surprised. A 5-year old kid has developed such a wonderful emotional control. The experiences he has gone through in life has made him a very appreciative person who appreciates everything in his life no matter how bad it is. In this case, he accepted his least favorite toy. 

At the end of the experiment, all the kids finally got their most favorite toys. 

I learned a lot from this video and our group has a good discussion related to the video.

Well, there're actually a lot we can learn from people every day. 

Lesson learned is to be more grateful. Be more appreciative.

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"And (remember) when your Lord proclaimed, 'If you are grateful, I will surely increase you (in favor); but if you deny, indeed, My punishment is severe.'" 
[14:7]

This verse is close to my heart because it was recited by one of my usrahmates on my 19th birthday as a gift. To be a grateful servant is not easy but it is surely not impossible. May Allah always guide us in our life to always be more grateful day by day. Remember, when we feel that our tests are unbearable, there are a lot of people out there struggling so hard beyond our imagination. Be grateful and have a sweet smile. May Allah bless :)

p/s: I was thinking to share our group discussion regarding the video but maybe not now? Because this post is already long enough

Reflection #2 : Judgment

"If we are such poor judges, why aren't we more aware of our limitations? Because that, too, requires judgement, and we aren't very good at judgement" (McLean, 2015)

We are all poor judges. We can't even judge ourselves well. So, why should we bother to judge others?

In everyday life, judgment and decision makings are inevitable. In fact, everyone judges everyone. For example, when we go for a job interview, of course, the interviewer will judge us. Taking time to choose which shirt suits us everyday is also a kind of decision making. Choosing a spouse for our lifetime is also a kind of judgment and decision making. Almost everything (or maybe everything) in this world needs judgment and decision making. However, what we need to ponder is that, to what extent we should judge and make a decision?

We need to put a limit to ourselves in judging people. It is normal for us to have an impression of others and sometimes, we do judge people even though we just met that person for the first time. However, what we always need to bear in mind is that, our judgment doesn't necessarily be true because what we see on the person is what he or she chooses to show us. And, what we see on that person is just a part of them. There are a lot of things we need consider before judging such as the individual differences, circle of friends, interests, family background, religious views, etc. If we can think of this, insha Allah, we will be less judgmental.

However, the tricky part is sometimes, we don't know to what extent we should "husnudzhon" (sangka baik) and to what extent we need to help a person when we feel like something wrong somewhere. I don't even have an answer for that but what my murobbi said,

"Berlembutlah dengan orang lain tapi berkeras dengan diri sendiri". It really depends on us how do we interpret "berlembut dengan orang lain tapi berkeras dengan diri sendiri." 

We are all humans who have flaws and making mistakes is human nature. What make people different is when we know we are making mistakes, we feel the urgency to repent and improve ourselves.

Jalan taqwa itu bukan hanya satu jalan. Tapi ada banyak jalan. Pilihlah jalan mana yang kita selesa untuk menuju taqwa. Jalan taqwa itu tidak berpenghujung hingga hujungnya nafas kita. Dan tiada siapa boleh mengaku dialah yang paling bertaqwa kerana taqwa itu hanya Tuhan yang Tahu. Let Him be the judge. Just do our best in helping ourselves and others to attain taqwa together. May we all meet in Jannah.

” Hai orang-orang yang beriman, bertakwalah kepada Allah dan carilah jalan yang mendekatkan diri kepada-Nya, dan berjihadlah pada jalan-Nya, supaya kamu mendapat keberuntungan.” (5:35)

Reflection #1 : Ponder

Today I participated in a research. It was a good research to study about unconscious learning. Basically, the research is done by the Psychology and Education department to help students and educators to find a better way to learn. It is quite amazing to know that human brains can learn unconsciously. However, there is still research in progress to study more about this. Hopefully, the research is a success so that it can contribute to the education sector. 

I was impressed to know how human brain works. There are actually a lot of researches done to know how the brain functions because human's brain is very special. It is just that sometimes we don’t fully utilise our brain. 

That is why, we need to always help our brain to function by learning, thinking and reflecting.

Doesn’t God always says in His Book,

“...Demikianlah Allah menjelaskan kepada kamu keterangan-keterangan, supaya kamu BERFIKIR (dan mengambil iktibar).”

(2: 266)

“...Dan tiadalah yang mengambil pelajaran dan peringatan melainkan orang-orang yang BERFIKIRAN.” 

(3:7)

“...Adakah sama orang yang buta dengan orang yang celik? Tidakkah kamu mahu BERFIKIR?” 

(6:50)

There are a lot more words in His Book asking us to always think and reflect.

Think with our brain and heart. 

May Allah always guide us in a straight path.

#reflection