Hope


There are times in life when we feel lonely even though we are surrounded with people

There are times in life when we feel that all people don't understand us.
(That's normal because we can't even understand people very well and sometimes we can't even understand ourselves)

There are times in life when we really want people to listen to us but no one ever care to listen that we decided to remain silent

There are times in our life when we give up on people because we think we have tried so hard but nothing happens

There are times in life when we cannot be positive because we receive negativity

There are times in life when we feel like going somewhere far and meet new people so that we can start new life

There are times in our life when we don't even know ourselves and we feel bad about it

But dear self,
Please always remind yourself that
There is always hope

Escapism does not even solve anything
Killing people with your silence is an act that actually kills yourself

Being stress is not a better choice either
That adds the problem
Because stress makes you sick
You don't have appetite to eat
You don't think there's a need to talk to people
You became so down that all negative assumptions and thoughts came into your mind
You hurt people because you are hurt
You are not being yourself

Finally,
You are actually killing yourself with all the negative assumptions and thoughts
You are actually finding people to blame but not yourself
And you are actually ruining yourself

Until
You realize that hope is always there
Always
It's just you who refuse to see it

So
My hope for 2016 is that there is always hope in everything and I'm not giving up on anything

"...Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people." (12:87)

So hye
I'm back
Still fixing my heart but it's healing
Slowly but surely
I hope that all people including me will always remember that there's always hope
Always



I'm Not a Mind Reader nor a Decision Maker

Assalamualaikum,

"If you tell a person you have just met that you're taking an introductory psychology course, don't be surprised if he or she asks, 'So, are you analysing me right now?'" (Lilienfeld, 2012)

This is so true. I have met many people who said the same thing. Let me clarify things about psychology.

1. Psychology is defined as a study of human mind and behaviour. It is a study to understand people better and as for me, it helps me to understand myself better. However, we cannot fully understand people because humans are too complicated, aren't we? We can only try to understand and not to judge based on what we see because there're more stories we don't know. 
Actually, psychologists still debate about the definition of psychology since there are too many ways in defining it. As what I said, humans are too complicated that the term "psychology" is still debatable.

2. No one can read your mind. There is no brain study, which can read your mind, so far. Seriously. 
“To me, mind reading is where something is wholly subjective and private, and I can’t tell from what you’re doing or looking at, what your mental state is,” said Frank Tong, a neuroscientist at Vanderbilt University. 

3. A psychology student or experienced psychologists do not know the whole story if you don't tell them. There are many factors affecting the behaviour and feeling of others. It could be other external factors and internal factors that they won’t tell. I'm pretty sure that people won't tell you EVERYTHING. There're things that best kept within ourselves. Therefore, psychologists usually do not make a decision for you but they will guide you to think deeply about your decision.

Therefore, when people ask me, "can you read my mind?" I would say "No.” Seriously, I don’t know what are you thinking of but I guess, you think that I can read your mind. The way we can know what other people think is by asking questions, but people have an option not to answer.

When people ask me "What do you think a career that best suits me based on my interest and personality?" I would say, "Be whatever you want to be as long as it benefits you and others.” This is because sometimes, our interests and personality do not really reliable in determining what we really want. We will discover new things about ourselves as time goes by. Our interest and personality will keep changing. The way we think, the way we look at something. Everything will change. That’s why I would say, do whatever you want to do be whatever you want to be but remember the important point: it must be beneficial to you and others. Consider to read this article: http://aiman-kisah.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/why-i-changed-from-engineering-to.html

We can only predict if there is a burden of proof. For example, someone is sad. Then, she calls her parents talking about academic. So, we can assume that a person is sad because of the academic performance. However, it could be other factors that make her sad. 
We can only see what people want us to see. We can only know what people want us to know. There’re always stories that remained secret.

I really appreciate those who come to me and asking my opinions regarding the decisions they need to make, but I apologise for cannot make a decision for you. Because, how close we are, how many stories we share, we could never get the whole story. How hard I try to be in other people's shoes, it still won't feel the same.
That's why there's a saying in Malay, "berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul."
I can only hear your stories, offers you support, and give my humble opinions. I can only lead you to think about your future plan and thinks about the consequences of the decision you made. After all, only you know yourself better and only Allah knows you best and knows what's best for you :)

Don't be afraid to dream. Don't be afraid to start. 
Believe in yourself and put faith in Allah.


p/s: If I were given a power to read people's mind, I would rather not to. Because knowing more about people has already made me feel scared of people in this world. It would be scarier if I know what people think and I would end up stay at home and not meeting people, which is not good. That's the wisdom of Allah. He does not reveal what shouldn't be revealed.  

Spring Trip

Assalamualaikum,

Sudah seminggu berlalu meninggalkan cuti pertengahan penggal bersama sahabat-sahabat tercinta. Kalau nak diungkap rasa rindu dengan trip kita, memang tak mampu diungkap dengan kata-kata.
Kadang-kadang bukan tempat yang membuat kita bahagia dan gembira, tapi orang yang bersama-sama kita.
Tempat biasa pun boleh jadi luar biasa dengan orang yang bukan biasa-biasa di hati saya (Norsyairah, 2015) kan?


Sebenarnya tak tahu nak mula dari mana sebab setiap perjalanan kita ke tempat yang kita tujui itu terlalu banyak yang hendak diceritakan sebab semuanya sangat menarik. Tempat yang kita singgah mungkinlah tak banyak sebab rezeki untuk bercuti di situ 5 hari dan 2 hari penuh telah digunakan untuk program Negarawan (insha Allah 2 hari yang SANGAT berbaloi :))
Tapi, apa yang banyak adalah mutiara-mutiara pengajaran yang saya belajar daripada sahabat-sahabat semua yang tak dapat untuk ditukar ganti. Pengajaran tentang hidup.


Kalau semua ingat lagi, masa mula-mula sampai, semua orang pun macam tak tahu nak ke mana sebab memang tak rancang sangat. Tapi, alhamdulillah semua orang dengan kumpulan masing-masing dapat singgah tempat lain-lain dan saya percaya mesti banyak sangat benda yang dipelajari. Kumpulan saya sendiri, kami dapat mengenali diri masing-masing dan mula selesa antara satu sama lain. Sebelum ini, kenal sekadar kenal, bukan kenal betul-betul tapi, melalui perjalanan kita, masing-masing tahu, "oh, dia ni macam ni kalau benda jadi gini." "oh, dia ni boleh jadi macam ni kalau tengah takde mood." dan macam-macam lagi yang kita tahu tentang orang yang kita gelar sahabat.

Banyak insiden yang berlaku sepanjang trip yang bila diingat balik sangat melucukan walaupun masa benda jadi, gelabahnya Allah sahaja yang tahu. Mula-mula, beg seorang sahabat tertinggal di suatu tempat. Malam-malam baru perasan. Apa yang menarik, tiada pun yang marah sahabat tersebut. Masing-masing bantu carikan dan ada yang tolong temankan ke tempat beg tersebut tertinggal. Saya rasa terharu sebab masing-masing sanggup tunggu walaupun semua penat dan dah malam. Akhirnya, sahabat saya jumpa juga begnya.

Lepas itu, benda yang rasa macam kelakar tapi tak kelakar masa benda jadi ialah tak pandai nak guna aplikasi Uber. Aplikasi ini membolehkan kita dapat tambang $25 free kalau naik teksi jika ada kodnya. Semua orang dah dapat kod dan disebabkan malam, maka masing-masing pun setuju nak naik teksi sebab barang sangat banyak. Kami beli barang masak untuk 2 hari tambah dengan beg yang kami bawa dari Brisbane, jadi memang tak sesuai kalau nak naik train. Jadi, kami pun setuju nak naik teksi. Saya antara kumpulan pertama yang naik teksi dan sampai ke rumah yang ditujui. Tapi, banyaklah benda jadi. Tambang untuk ke rumah yang ditujui itu agak mahal sebab jauh. Seingat saya dalam $80++. Kami fikir, masing-masing ada $25 free dan kalau kongsi dah $100. Jadi, boleh sahaja dapat free. Tapi, kami tak pandai guna aplikasi tersebut. Sepanjang dalam teksi, semua kalut cari jalan. Ada yang call orang, ada yang cuba berkali-kali untuk guna aplikasi tersebut, ada yang layan driver teksi cakap. Tapi, akhirnya semua kecewa dan hampa. Sampai sahaja di rumah, hanya $25 sahaja yang free, selebihnya kena bayar. Jadi masing-masing kongsi. Disebabkan kumpulan kami tak berjaya nak mendapatkan tambang percuma, mereka yang selebihnya masih di sentral akhirnya naik train sebab semua pun tak pandai guna aplikasi tersebut. Saya tak dapat bayang bagaimana mereka dengan barang yang banyak sangat boleh naik train, menempuh perjalanan yang jauh malam-malam. Mestilah rasa bersalah juga. Kita sedap-sedap naik teksi, mereka terpaksa naik train. Tapi, saya sangat terharu bila masing-masing pun berlapang dada sebab masing-masing tahu, bukan salah sesiapa. Kalian memang hebat! tabik spring :D

Kemudian, sepanjang 2 hari suntuk kami ke program Negarawan.

Selepas selesai program Negarawan, malam tersebut, beberapa orang ditugaskan untuk mengambil kereta untuk digunakan sepanjang trip 2 hari. Tapi, malam tersebut mereka tak balik sebab tak jumpa jalan balik. Dah tak jumpa jalan balik, handphone pula mati tak boleh nak call sesiapa. Dah penat, para pemandu yang berjiwa kental ini pun tidurlah di universiti, ada yang tidur rumah kawan. Esok harinya, baru semua selamat pulang dan masing-masing sangat penat. Kesian sangat saya tengok tapi kalianlah antara orang penting dalam trip ini :)

Kemudian, 2 hari kami berjalan dan belajar.
The rest is history.

kalau dilihat pada mata kasar, terlihat ada garisan horizon di hujung sana. Tapi, apabila kita berlayar ke sana, tidak terjumpa pun mana garisannya dan kita terus berlayar (Mona, 2015). Itulah agaknya hidup, proses belajar berterusan yang tiada garisan penamat melainkan tamatlah riwayat kita.

Benarlah, kadang-kadang bukanlah di mana kita berada tapi dengan siapa kita bersama yang menjadikan sesuatu perkara dalam hidup kita sangat terkesan untuk dikenang.
Saya teringat kata sahabat saya,  "Saya tertanya, do I belong to this group? Tapi, bila semua sudi untuk menghadirkan diri dalam trip kali ini, saya rasa, yes, I'm belong to this group." (Nadhirah, 2015)

And yes, me either. I feel belong to this group.

Sahabat,
Akan ada masa-masa yang kita mungkin bersengketa,
Kita mungkin bermasam muka,
Kita mungkin berburuk sangka,
tapi, sahabat percayalah,
itu semua #bolehsettle bak kata Afini Dini,
dan bila boleh settle,
percayalah,
kalau dah kata sayang dan cinta, tiada lagi "tapi" bak kata Norsyairah.

Norsyairah juga berkata, "untuk kita terima seseorang kerana kelebihannya, itu biasa. Tapi, kalau kita mampu terima seseorang dengan kelemahan-kelemahannya, itulah ukhuwah."

Semua tahu, bahawa kita semua hidup bersama manusia,
memanglah akan ada masa kita lihat sisi-sisi kelemahannya,
tapi adakah itu membuatkan kita meninggalkannya?
Kalau orang lain mampu untuk menerima kelemahan dan kekurangan kita,
kenapa tidak kita?
Manusia, tiada sempurna. Andai mampu kita bantu menutupi kelemahannya dan membantunya mengatasi kelemahannya, buatlah. Kerana percayalah, akan selalu kelemahan kita ditutupi oleh mereka yang ikhlas bersama kita.