Reflection #1 : Ponder

Today I participated in a research. It was a good research to study about unconscious learning. Basically, the research is done by the Psychology and Education department to help students and educators to find a better way to learn. It is quite amazing to know that human brains can learn unconsciously. However, there is still research in progress to study more about this. Hopefully, the research is a success so that it can contribute to the education sector. 

I was impressed to know how human brain works. There are actually a lot of researches done to know how the brain functions because human's brain is very special. It is just that sometimes we don’t fully utilise our brain. 

That is why, we need to always help our brain to function by learning, thinking and reflecting.

Doesn’t God always says in His Book,

“...Demikianlah Allah menjelaskan kepada kamu keterangan-keterangan, supaya kamu BERFIKIR (dan mengambil iktibar).”

(2: 266)

“...Dan tiadalah yang mengambil pelajaran dan peringatan melainkan orang-orang yang BERFIKIRAN.” 

(3:7)

“...Adakah sama orang yang buta dengan orang yang celik? Tidakkah kamu mahu BERFIKIR?” 

(6:50)

There are a lot more words in His Book asking us to always think and reflect.

Think with our brain and heart. 

May Allah always guide us in a straight path.

#reflection 

Hope

There are times in life when we feel lonely even though we are surrounded with people

There are times in life when we feel that all people don't understand us.
(That's normal because we can't even understand people very well and sometimes we can't even understand ourselves)

There are times in life when we really want people to listen to us but no one ever care to listen that we decided to remain silent

There are times in our life when we give up on people because we think we have tried so hard but nothing happens

There are times in life when we cannot be positive because we receive negativity

There are times in life when we feel like going somewhere far and meet new people so that we can start new life

There are times in our life when we don't even know ourselves and we feel bad about it

But dear self,
Please always remind yourself that
There is always hope

Escapism does not even solve anything
Killing people with your silence is an act that actually kills yourself

Being stress is not a better choice either
That adds the problem
Because stress makes you sick
You don't have appetite to eat
You don't think there's a need to talk to people
You became so down that all negative assumptions and thoughts came into your mind
You hurt people because you are hurt
You are not being yourself

Finally,
You are actually killing yourself with all the negative assumptions and thoughts
You are actually finding people to blame but not yourself
And you are actually ruining yourself

Until
You realize that hope is always there
Always
It's just you who refuse to see it

So
My hope for 2016 is that there is always hope in everything and I'm not giving up on anything

"...Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people." (12:87)

So hye
I'm back
Still fixing my heart but it's healing
Slowly but surely
I hope that all people including me will always remember that there's always hope
Always

I'm Not a Mind Reader nor a Decision Maker

Assalamualaikum,

"If you tell a person you have just met that you're taking an introductory psychology course, don't be surprised if he or she asks, 'So, are you analysing me right now?'" (Lilienfeld, 2012)

This is so true. I have met many people who said the same thing. Let me clarify things about psychology.

1. Psychology is defined as a study of human mind and behaviour. It is a study to understand people better and as for me, it helps me to understand myself better. However, we cannot fully understand people because humans are too complicated, aren't we? We can only try to understand and not to judge based on what we see because there're more stories we don't know. 

Actually, psychologists still debate about the definition of psychology since there are too many ways in defining it. As what I said, humans are too complicated that the term "psychology" is still debatable.

2. No one can read your mind. There is no brain study, which can read your mind, so far. Seriously. 

“To me, mind reading is where something is wholly subjective and private, and I can’t tell from what you’re doing or looking at, what your mental state is,” said Frank Tong, a neuroscientist at Vanderbilt University. 

3. A psychology student or experienced psychologists do not know the whole story if you don't tell them. There are many factors affecting the behaviour and feeling of others. It could be other external factors and internal factors that they won’t tell. I'm pretty sure that people won't tell you EVERYTHING. There're things that best kept within ourselves. Therefore, psychologists usually do not make a decision for you but they will guide you to think deeply about your decision.

Therefore, when people ask me, "can you read my mind?" I would say "No.” Seriously, I don’t know what are you thinking of but I guess, you think that I can read your mind. The way we can know what other people think is by asking questions, but people have an option not to answer.

When people ask me "What do you think a career that best suits me based on my interest and personality?" I would say, "Be whatever you want to be as long as it benefits you and others.” This is because sometimes, our interests and personality do not really reliable in determining what we really want. We will discover new things about ourselves as time goes by. Our interest and personality will keep changing. The way we think, the way we look at something. Everything will change. That’s why I would say, do whatever you want to do be whatever you want to be but remember the important point: it must be beneficial to you and others. Consider to read this article: http://aiman-kisah.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/why-i-changed-from-engineering-to.html

We can only predict if there is a burden of proof. For example, someone is sad. Then, she calls her parents talking about academic. So, we can assume that a person is sad because of the academic performance. However, it could be other factors that make her sad. 

We can only see what people want us to see. We can only know what people want us to know. There’re always stories that remained secret.

I really appreciate those who come to me and asking my opinions regarding the decisions they need to make, but I apologise for cannot make a decision for you. Because, how close we are, how many stories we share, we could never get the whole story. How hard I try to be in other people's shoes, it still won't feel the same.

That's why there's a saying in Malay, "berat mata memandang, berat lagi bahu yang memikul."

I can only hear your stories, offers you support, and give my humble opinions. I can only lead you to think about your future plan and thinks about the consequences of the decision you made. After all, only you know yourself better and only Allah knows you best and knows what's best for you :)

Don't be afraid to dream. Don't be afraid to start. 

Believe in yourself and put faith in Allah.

p/s: If I were given a power to read people's mind, I would rather not to. Because knowing more about people has already made me feel scared of people in this world. It would be scarier if I know what people think and I would end up stay at home and not meeting people, which is not good. That's the wisdom of Allah. He does not reveal what shouldn't be revealed.