Dear married Azzura,
I hope you keep this advice from a single Azzura who knows nothing about married life but very concerned about you being a wife.
Azzura, know that a husband is someone who you should love, respect and obey as a manifestation of ibadah to Allah. You don't worship your husband.
Your husband is your imam. Imam is meant to guide the makmum. But remember, imam is also a human. He can make mistakes. So, it's your role to correct him with love and courtesy.
Azzura, as a wife, be there for him through thick and thin. There will be time you feel down, seek comfort from him so that he will feel needed. And there will be time he feels down, so give him comfort. Remember, both men and women have emotions. Don't let anyone of you suppress it. Discuss about it heart to heart and find ways together.
Most importantly, love yourself so that you can love him as much. Never let anyone of you to sacrifice at the cost of anyone's loss because a successful relationship should be win-win.
Azzura, there will be times that he might be so hard to love. During this time, remember that you too aren't always easy to love. Remind yourself about thousand of kindness he has done to you. Mistakes shouldn't make all the good things he did disappear.
Remember, Rasulullah once said that the Hellfire is filled with ungrateful wives. These wives are ungrateful to the favors and the good deeds done to them by the husband. If the husband always been good to them and then they see something in him that she doesn't like, she will say "I have never received any good from you"
(Sahih Al-Bukhari)
Therefore, be careful with what you say. Refrain yourself from saying something you would terribly regret.
There will be times you get angry, frustrated, disappointed or sad with your husband. It's okay to feel that because your feelings are valid. But please...try your best to still be kind even when it's so hard to do so.
Azzura, you are your own person and he is his own person. You have your own vision in life and he has his own vision too. Therefore, marriage shouldn't stop you from pursuing whatever you wanted to pursue. But, be flexible to the change in plan and decision. Consider many things and discuss with your husband. May Allah always guide you through.
At the same time, create things you would enjoy doing together. Try new things and explore new adventures. It would be great! Hopefully all those good moments will always stay in your heart and you will always be reminded of all those sweetness insha Allah 🌸♥️
Azzura, there will be times that you might feel as if you have failed to be a good wife. Oh well, I'm afraid if you're still with your ridiculously high expectations on yourself. During this time, please communicate this with your husband. Ask him if there's anything that you could improve to be better. But be easy on yourself. You need time to improve and change too, right?
Azzura, someday if Allah wills, you will become a mother. I know you are so worried and scared of the responsibility. The thought of having children has always been amazing but you could never deny the pressure (that you put on yourself 🤦) So, take your time to enjoy your honeymoon period and get prepared in every aspect before conceiving. Invite your husband to join the discussion and preparations too (super important!)
Azzura, be the person who always appreciate good little things and moments like I have always do. Never lose this precious quality in yourself. Always remember that life isn't always filled with rainbows and sunshine. Sometimes, there will be rain and thunderstorms. Same goes to your married life. But that's the beauty. As long as you both are willing to put efforts together, insha Allah you both will do good 🌸
Last but not least,
May Allah bless your marriage and shower it with sakinah, mawaddah and rahmah.
May Allah make you the joy and tranquility in your husband's eyes.
May you both always love and care for each other.
Deep inside my heart, I'm happy for you. I believe that the husband I've chosen for you is the best one. The best doesn't mean the perfect one. It just simply means you both are good enough for each other. And I believe, when you both aren't perfect, so it's easier for you both to gain pahala for being patient to each other and to help each other discover the better version of both selves.
Till then,
بارك الله لكما وبارك عليكما وجمع بينكما في خير
You are good to go, Azzura.
All the best in your married life.
I am still you and you are still me.
No matter how much you gonna change after marriage, the core values and principes that I hold all my life will always be inside you insha Allah.
