Story #5: Saling Melengkapi

Assalamualaikum,

warna hijau, biru dan coklat melengkapi satu sama lain hingga menjadikan alam tersangat indah dan memukau mata yang melihatnya. Subhanallah.

M bertanya, "akak, macamana nak jadi berani bercakap depan ramai orang macam akak?"

Saya hanya tersenyum dan memandangnya. Saya berkata, "setiap orang berbeza potensi yang ada dalam diri. Akak takkan cakap benda tersebut mudah sebab bagi akak, perkara yang mudah bagi akak mungkin tak mudah bagi orang lain. Apa yang ada pada akak mungkin ialah kebolehan untuk bercakap. Tapi, perkara tersebut boleh je jadi baik dan boleh jadi tak. Akak masih kena belajar untuk banyak mendengar dan tak cakap semua benda yang akak nak cakap. Benda ni develop dalam diri seseorang melalui proses tarbiyah pastinya. Untuk soalan awak tu, sejujurnya akak takdalah konfiden sangat. Akak gugup kot nak cakap kat depan masa AGM haritu."

"Yeke? Saya tengok akak konfiden je."

"Itu sebab akak pegang mikrofon tu kuat-kuat. Haha. Gugup dia Tuhan je tau. Dan sebenarnya teks ucapan akak tu, sahabat akak yang tolong akak susun. Akak ni tak pandai nak cakap direct sangat kadang-kadang. Kadang-kadang apa yang akak nak sampaikan tak tersampai pun pada orang. Jadi, sahabat akak susunkan teks ucapan. Nampak tak sebenarnya ini proses melengkapi satu sama lain? Macam sahabat akak, dia bukan jenis orang yang boleh bercakap depan orang tapi dia sangat hebat bab penyusunan orang, susun perkataan, susun barang sebab personaliti dia yang sangat teliti. Kalau awak suruh akak susun, memang akak tak mampu. Sebab tu sahabat akak yang tolong susunkan."

"Haah. Saya ingat yang masa Sembang D' haritu. Yang Abu Hana tolong sampaikan apa yang akak nak sampaikan"

"Haaa, tahu pun. Nampak tak, akak nak tanya, tapi akak pusing-pusing dulu dengan cerita. Si Izzat Roslan pun pening apa soalan akak sebenarnya. Nasib baik ada Abu Hana yang tolong jelaskan ayat pusing-pusing akak. Nampak tak, walaupun akak ada potensi untuk cakap dan melontarkan idea, akak masih kena belajar juga seni bercakap dan bertanya. Kalau awak, awak rasa apa potensi awak?"

"Saya sedia untuk buat kerja dan rajin nak tolong apa-apa."

"That's nice. Bagus sangat. Gunakan potensi yang awak ada untuk buat hal-hal bermanfaat. Tapi, akak sangat encourage kalau awak nak belajar berani berucap depan orang. Tapi, akak tak pandai nak train orang. Kakak usrah awak ni pandai. Dia yang train akak. Hehe"

N balas sambil tersenyum, "haa, boleh je nak belajar dengan akak. Insha Allah" 

Semakin lama, semakin cinta rasa kepada tarbiah. Tarbiah yang mengajar bagaimana menjadi manusia. Tarbiah yang mengajar bagaimana menggunakan potensi yang ada. Tarbiah yang mengajar untuk saling melengkapi kekurangan manusiawi. Tarbiah yang mengajar saling membantu dalam kebaikan. Tarbiah yang mengajar kesabaran menghadapi kelemahan insan. Tarbiah yang mengajar tentang pengharapan pada Tuhan. 

Tarbiah.

Proses pembentukan diri yang tak akan pernah berhenti sampai mati.

#roadtoRamadhan

Reflection #6: Life Lesson

Assalamualaikum, Hai!

I'm just so delighted to have the chance to write in my blog after hectic weeks. I just realized that I haven't wrote anything since my last post. So, today I want to share about the lecture on Intellectual Disability. The class was so awesome. I couldn't stop smiling after class.

What I want to share is about C (not the real name) who is diagnosed with Down's Syndrome since she was born. She was invited to share her life experience on how it feels to be unique and different from others in the lecture. I'm not going to share all her experiences because I couldn't even remember vividly everything she shared and since the lecture is not recorded due to privacy matter, so I'm just going to share what I have learnt from C :)

1. Focus on things you have
C realized that she was different from others, so she choose to be focus on what she has instead of bragging about things she couldn't do. She appreciates every little improvement she made. The way she shared her stories was so inspiring because she did not show any regret for being a girl with Down's Syndrome. Instead, she was proud on little things that mean a lot for her such as being able to speak in front of others, being able to do chores independently and many more. Maybe, for us, it is not a big deal. But, for her it is a great achievement. I just really love on how she can accept her disability and doesn't give up learning new skills.

2. Cope with difficulties
Of course, we are all have difficulties in life. So does C and she may have different difficulties from us due to her uniqueness. However, she said that she will develop strategies to cope in difficult situations. She acknowledge that sometimes, things aren't always work out but she said we need to be strong. If plan A doesn't work, move on to plan B and so on. How optimistic she is. I'm pretty sure that sometimes, life does disappoint us when we don't get what we want but I believe that everything that happens in our life is actually helping us to get to know more about ourselves and teaching us to improve ourselves day by day. How wonderful life is. Life never be easy, ladies and gentlemen. It meant to be hard. But, verily, with hardship comes ease (94:5) :)

3. Support each other
As a unique person, C really needs support from others to help her in coping with life. As for me, we all need to develop understanding about human. Respect differences and cherish the similarities. We all want a better world. So, let's work together :) Provide support and do not judge. We are all human.

At the end of her sharing, we were given an opportunity to ask questions. So, of course, I am one of them who was asking a question. But, my question was for her mom, specifically.

My question was : "It’s very inspiring on how you can think positive when you’re told that your child is having Down’s Syndrome which I think it’s quite difficult for some people to accept.

Would you mind to tell us what makes you think so positive and help your child to cope with life?"

And, her answer was just so lovely.

She said that she was lucky to have a positive nature within her and she is blessed with supportive husband and son. Of course, it wasn't easy. She said, sometimes family also don't understand. After all, we need to walk on our own shoes. She said that preservation skill is important. 

There are times when she feels it's so hard. Yes, we all have a normal face that we wear everyday (happy face), but we also have another face we hide (sad, disappointment). So, she said sometimes, we just need to open up to people even though it is definitely not easy. Keep healthy physically and mentally and just keep on supporting the each other.

It was so wonderful to listen to others' stories.

It was such an inspirational sharing.

Let us develop compassion and mercy in ourselves towards other people.

Let us have an open mind and heart to appreciate differences.

Let us improve ourselves to understand human in order to be a better human.

"Let us be the change we want to see in this world" - Mahatma Gandhi

By the way, this is one of the examples of the idea of Human Library that I proposed yesterday in AGM HAKIM. This is one of the ways for us to be more open and appreciate differences in human.

Last but not least, I want to share a quote by Mimi Jazman after the class ended,

"If you think your life is difficult, think about other's life."

We are all struggling and we struggle on different things. I pray to Allah that for every hardship that we face in life, Allah will reward with greater an better things.

Till then,

Assalamualaikum :)

Story #4: Babysit

Jadi minggu lepas, kali ke-empat jaga anak orang (babysit)

Pertama kali, sesat nak ke rumah orang tersebut.

Kali kedua, anak tersebut menangis bagai didera bila nak mandikan. Masa ini, cuak dia tak payah cerita. Memang cuak teramat. Sampai rasa takut nak mandikan lagi.

Kali ketiga, still no fun with the kids. Waktu ini mungkin terganggu dengan masalah diri sendiri. Tapi memang really feel bad sebab tak mampu nak create the bond with the kids.

Antara masalah yang dikenal pasti:

1. Belum biasa sangat jaga budak.

2. Anak perempuan tersebut berbahasa Arab dan disebabkan dia masih lagi 2 tahun, butir percakapannya kurang jelas. Memang struggle nak faham apa dia nak sebenarnya.

3. Abangnya super protective. Memang tak bagi langsung adik dia nangis. Bagus abang dia tapi memang adik dia akan nangis bila mama dia pergi universiti. Jadi bagaimana?

Disebabkan saya rasa saya perlu juga create the bond with the kids dan rasa perlu mencintai kerja saya, saya pun discuss dengan mama kepada anak-anak tersebut. Saya juga bertanya kepada babysitter lain yang lebih berpengalaman dan juga tanya kepada seorang senior yang mempunyai 3 orang anak.

Jadi, saya pun berazam nak buat lebih baik. Tak boleh nak learned helplessness. Everything needs to be improved. Sekali gagal, bukan bererti gagal selamanya.

Jadi, hari tersebut, saya bawa sebuah buku cerita, colours dan laptop. Kertas A4 saya minta mama mereka.

Okay, jadi sesampainya di rumah, anak 2 tahun tersebut menangis sebab mamanya sudah bersiap ke universiti. Saya biarkan dulu dia menangis. Reaksi normal kanak-kanak yang mempunyai "secure style attachment" dengan ibunya. Kemudian, dia pergi ke abangnya. Waktu ini, saya mula keluarkan colours dan kertas A4, dia mula tertarik dan berhenti menangis. Dia ambil colours tersebut dan conteng kertas A4 sambil senyum dan ketawa dengan imaginasinya. Mulutnya mengomel bercerita tentang sesuatu yang tak mampu saya faham. Tangannya menunjuk-nunjuk contengan yang dia buat. Bahagia. Abangnya turut serta melukis. Dan seperti biasa dia bercerita dan saya mendengar walaupun tak faham jalan cerita. (Abang dia sangat fasih berbahasa inggeris)

lukisan Juju(adik) yang berusia 2 tahun

Lukisan Mesho (abang) yang berusia 5 tahun 

Kemudian, saya buka laptop dan buka youtube lagu kanak-kanak "twinkle twinkle little star". Menyanyi dan menari bersama Juju.

Juju ralit dengan youtube

Abangnya seperti tak berminat. Abangnya sangat suka bermain dengan gadget. Saya pun cuba engage. Saya cakap-cakap dengan dia tentang permainan dia. Saya ajak main benda lain tapi dia kata dia busy. Ok takpe. Biar dia main game dulu. Saya melayan Juju dahulu.

Entah bagaimana tiba-tiba abangnya mengajak main hide and seek. Seronok juga main dengan budak-budak. Comel. Dan abang dia ajak main racing car juga. Raikanlah kecenderungan kanak-kanak lelaki. Seronok juga sebenarnya dapat main dengan mereka. Rasa bahagia dengan kerja.

Abang yang pemalu tapi banyak juga cakap. 

Kemudian, saya bacakan buku cerita pada adik dia. Tapi sekejap sahaja sebab dia tak berminat. Kami pun tonton televisyen sambil saya cuba buat interaction dengan mereka. Dan alhamdulillah, everything went well and better from the other weeks. Harap minggu-minggu mendatang, saya terus mampu engage dengan mereka dan anggap seperti keluarga sendiri.

Juju menonton televisyen

Apa yang saya belajar, kids treat us the way they are treated. Kids see and imitate what adults do.

We are the one who needs to create fun things to do with them. Thanks a lot to moms who share tips with me and also experienced babysitters.

p/s: I was thinking, kalau tak dapat kerja balik Malaysia nanti, nak jadi babysitter pun okay. Haha.